Thursday, May 27, 2010

Germany, May 27th 2010 - Back on the Grind

My Wedding Week is officially over and it's back to the grind for me. Time to get back to fitness and prepping for the new job and getting in the groove of being married!

My Wedding was absolutely awesome. What was originally planned for and what actually came to be were two different things, and that makes me feel like a million bucks! Kathi and I had, at the very beginning, no intentions of having a big celebration... just the ceremony at the State building and then get together with a couple of friends for drinks at the bar. Seriously. But after the family and the friends all told us we're ridiculous and that they wanted to do their part, the end result was a fabulous day. The restaurant was great, the speeches and gifts were awesome, and, I still have a hard time believing it, all our friends did the big YouTube wedding dance for us!!! (having a hard time finding the link on YouTube, but it's the same one that they did on the Office for the wedding episode). Basically, it FUCKING ROCKED!!! We'll be viewing the video next Tuesday, I can't wait to see it again! I'll be sharing this with the folks when I can! We also got hooked up with a hotel room for the night, and that too, was way f-ing cool! All decorated and with alcohol all over the place :-) Definitely rocked big time.

Took a week off of EVERYTHING after the wedding. No watching what I eat, no exercise, no watching our budget, just enjoying the new life as a married couple! It was really cool to not have a care and just DO!

But now it's back to life again :-) Been eating like a 800 pound man, so time to taper it down a bit! Hadn't exercised at all, but I'm back to that. I never finished the recovery week for my Insanity program, so it's a cool way to jump back in... with a routine that is still a good workout but not crazy hard and going to make me sore by jumping right into the deep end. That'll be next week, lol.

This is my last week of unemployment, so I only have a few more days to take care of some small details before I start my new job. Nick nack stuff, budget stuff, nothing too critical (Kathi is helping me with the hard stuff, like official paperwork, banks, all that... I love her :-). But it's also my last week to just lounge and take it slow and act like I'm on vacation!

Life if about to be back in full swing next week. Back to the 9 to 5. Life as a married man (so far, so good, I'm loving it!). Going back to language classes is around the corner (the state hooks us up with a fantastic deal... 900 hours of language\cultural training for a Euro and hour... to put that in perspective, I paid 1000 Euro for one month of class at the Goethe Institute, which was about 80 hours, so 1000 Euro for 80 hours versus 900 Euro for 900 hours. Quite the deal :-). And I still have to make sure that Blue gets his long walks AND that I don't fall off of my workout routine. And, there is still friends and family and Skype with folks back home. And of course... quality time with my lady. Life is about to be full again!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Germany, May 17th 2010 - Two more days!!!

In just two short days, I, Michael Vincent Custer, am getting MARRIED! It still doesn't seem quite real to me. Not too long ago in my past I had thought that this was just a dream that could never happen to me. But here I am, about to tie the knot with the love of my life, and I couldn't be happier about it!

I used to think that I wasn't destined to be in love, much less married. A few years ago, I probably was at my unhappiest and most depressed. Outwardly, I tried to maintain my happy facade, but inside, I was negative, bitter, unhappy, and very depressed. I remember having days where I couldn't stop saying to myself that I wasn't meant to be in a relationship, how women don't like me, there is something wrong with me and I was never going to be in anything meaningful. Thinking of marriage was like wishing that I could fly just by flapping my arms.

There was a point when I got past the depression and the bitterness, but I still wasn't happy. Not to say I wasn't enjoying my life... I have good friends, loving family, and have been successful in my career. But I was still missing that crucial part of my life... I didn't have love and I felt like I was missing an important piece of the whole puzzle. No matter how I put everything else together, there was a gap that I couldn't fill.

Trying to find love at bars and clubs was obviously not the right way to go. All I ever found there was airheads and wasted time. To my amazement though, love was going to find me where I wasn't looking for it... at work! Yes, Kathi and I are a work place romance gone right :-) It seemed that when I finally stopped looking for someone, when my mind was firmly entrenched in the idea that I wouldn't ever be in love, the perfect women came to me, right when and where I wasn't looking.

Kathi... I've never met anyone like her before. She's the perfect blend of sweet and sassy; she's beautiful but not conceited; so very smart and intelligent, but not cocky and full of herself and always willing to learn more; she's career oriented but has never forgotten how to stop and smell the roses; and the best part, the part that I can never figure out (but will never take for granted), she's totally crazy about me!!!

Having this kind of woman in my life, at my side, has changed me, and all for the good. The leaps and bounds I've taken as a person and as a man, I owe it all to her influence. While she always points out that I'm the one that has made the life changes to grow as I have, I say without any doubt that I owe it all to the inspiration that she gives me. She makes me want to be better than I am... to be all that I can. And I want to do it for her. I don't even really think of it as doing these things for me. I try to be better person so that I can be the best man for her... because she deserves only the best in life. I want to be smarter, richer, healthier, sexier, sweeter... and all so that Kathi can have the best man on her arm, to be as happy as she possibly can be.

I am so ready to take on that challenge. On Thursday, I will take that vow... that I will make Kathi's life the best it can be... that I will do everything in my power to lift her up and let the light shine on her because she deserves no less. I want Kathi to be the happiest woman on the face of the Earth, and I'll stop at nothing to do this for her. I owe Kathi my life and I will give it to her without thinking twice. I love her more than anything in this world and I plan to be at her side until I'm gone from life.

On Thursday, May 20th 2010, I am going to become the happiest man that ever lived because the best woman that has ever come into my life has chosen to be with me. This will be the best day of my life and one that I will never forget.

Katharina Barbara Herkenhoener (soon to be Custer :-), I love you with all my heart and am proud to be your husband and companion for the rest of my life.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Germany, May 8th 2010 - Back to work!

I can't tell you how happy I am to finally have a job and to be getting back to work, and for 2 very good reasons... money and boredom.

I'm glad that I'm going to be getting a paycheck again. I want to be able to contribute and not having an income was really starting to wear on me. It's been troubling me that I had to rely completely on Kathi because of the strain that I've been putting on her. I guess I'm not cheap :-) Not to mention my own manly pride. I've been earning my own way now for quite a few years and not being able to earn my keep was really starting to sting my pride. I also have quite a few commitments and some things I need to get money put aside for, so not having an income to work towards these goals is tough. And I must say it again, I don't like that I've been such a burden to my lovely woman. She's been such a champ... paying for things, taking us out, ect... but it's wearing her out and I can't really consider myself to be a good man and husband if I wasn't trying very hard to correct that. Thankfully, now I can do that and take some of the pressure off of her.

Now, to boredom. That's a bit of a harsh word... I'm not bored here. But it's more about finding ways to keep myself busy while I don't have a job to go to everyday. I honestly don't know how some people can not work, for months and\or years, how they don't go crazy with not knowing what to do with themselves. I guess they just get used to be being fat slobs who watch TV all day. What's only recently been starting to get to me is just keeping my day full, especially since my language classes stopped some time ago. For most days, I've been doing the following for my routine... language studying, job searching, exercise, taking my dog for a walk, cleaning, Facebooking :-), and hanging out with Kathi and friends. But the truth is, you can only do all that stuff for so long before it starts to feel like it's just a replacement for something else... basically, work. People are workers, that's how we get by in our lives, it's what keeps us busy and what makes us feel like contributors and part of society. When you can't contribute, it starts to wear on you. I could only study so much before it started to just not sink in anymore. Searching for a job, and getting turned down for so long, was really a hit to my ego and pride. Exercise is great, but it's only 1 hour a day, and maybe another hour of walking the dog. And our friends, they work and have their own lives going on and can't always hang out (and to tie back in to the money part, it's no fun to go out with people and not have money and have to lean on their charity all the time... which gets old to both me and to the them).

And that's why the job is the answer to all of this! My days will be filled with a real job again, I'll have a paycheck coming in and can pay bills, go out, save money, ect, and I can still do all the things I was doing during my unemployment, but now, they will have that extra meaning again, not just be ways to fill in the gaps during the day.

I never thought I'd say I'm glad to be back to work. I guess sometimes it just takes having your perspective changed. It's so easy to take things for granted... and I now realize that I took employment as one of those things! But on a lighter note, let's see what my blog says in 6 months... when I'm complaining that I need a vacation from my job!!! :-)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Germany, May 6th 2010 - Fitness

I'm really proud of myself for the way I've handled my health, diet, and fitness, especially since I got here to Germany. I've managed to keep everything on track, and in fact, I've improved since leaving the states.

When I left America in January, I weighed in at 165 pounds, which was quite the accomplishment for myself. That put me over 50 pounds lost at that point. But it also did something else for me. It let me see the light at the end of the tunnel... to know where I could actually be, instead of just where I was at. I now saw the potential to get even better. So I quickly became, well, not unsatisfied, but ready to accomplish more.

I actually lost another 7 pounds almost immediately when I came to Germany, but I equate that to my initial jetlag, and the fact that I stopped alot of the snacking I was doing. I started doing my Insanity workouts in January too and came to realize that I love them! I saw instant results in my strength and muscle development.

Unfortunately, when I started school and was looking for work (as near to a full time job in itself :-), my diet and workout routine took a dip. I stopped doing the Insanity workouts for all of February and most of March. I did do some exercise, I didn't quit entirely... mostly jogging with my dog sometimes, definitely lots of walks with him, and a couple of trips to my sister-in-law's gym she works at. I also wasn't paying much attention to my diet either. I saw my weight go back up to 163 pounds. Now, while that's still a bit lower than my last weigh-in in America, that was still an upward trend I wasn't happy about.

So, since the end of March, I've been doing very good! I started the Insanity workouts again, and this time, I made the promise to myself that I'm going to finish the course and not stop before it's done (though I'm not going to accomplish this in the 60 days the course is supposed to take. I've done some other workout routines during this time as well... jogging, some Matt Furey exercises, a time or 2 to the gym, and I've taken an extra day off or 2 here and there). But, my guess is that I'll finish the 60 day course in 70+ days, which really isn't that bad. I'm DEFINITELY feeling the results... strong legs, bigger biceps and chest (I can do 2.5 pullups now, which is exactly 2.5 more than I could ever do before!), and a hard butt :-).

I also made the effort to pay better attention to my diet. I was slipping and not paying attention to what I was eating... eating more candy, especially when Kathi was in Switzerland and I was eating because I missed her, eating more McDonalds... and just not paying attention. So, I've turned it around by using my iWatcher iPod program (for my WW people out there, this program IS WW. It does everything that the site does, calculates all the points, favorites, daily and weekly point, all of it. It's so worth the money, especially if you aren't going to meetings anymore), making sure I take my vitamins, and getting more veggies back into my diet.

I'm happy to report that I'm back down to 159 pounds, with the eventual goal of 155 pounds. I think that I actually might have had more weight loss, but I've been adding some muscle mass with all my workouts, and I can't say I'm perfect with my diet (this is Germany, we drink LOTS of beer and eat LOTS of giant pretzels!!!), but the weight I'm losing seems to be in good comparison (right word?) to the muscle I'm putting on and actual fat coming off.

I've put myself back down to 28 points a day right now as well, in the hopes that I can lose a pound or 2 more before my wedding on the 20th. Sure doesn't hurt to look as good as possible for my girl and our wedding pictures ;-).

Each day is challenging, and each day, I have to think about what I'm going to do. Like today, I'm going drinking with the guys tonight, so despite the fact that I'm sore from 2 hard days of working out, I need one more so that I can have those extra points to rely on tonight... and I need to watch what I eat all day so that again I can have points for tonight (veggies for lunch!). But I have to admit, I enjoy these day to day challenges. I have to think, plan, and come up with new ways and ideas to keep myself on the downward trend with my weight, keep myself motivated to workout (I'm my own workout partner :-), and to continue to WANT to get into better shape.

Your health and your fitness are 100% your own. Nobody else can motivate you, make you do it, or more importantly, make you want it. YOU have to do this, you HAVE TO WANT IT. If you don't, you'll never succeed. But when you want it, and I mean really want it, you'll do whatever it takes to get there. You'll tell yourself over and over again, I want it, I can do it, and I WILL HAVE IT. Now get your asses out there and do it!!! :-)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Testing, Testing, 123, Testing

This is just a test to see if the feed is working to Facebook or not... yesterday's blog did not go thru so it could have been just a one time thing, or it could be something is wrong... so, you can ignore this!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Germany, May 4th, 2010 - 3 months since my last blog!

So, I've come to realize that I don't use this blog enough because I use Facebook as my blog, essentially. But, my life and my thoughts count for more than just 160 characters at once, don't they! :)

I have to say that life is good right now. Germany is treating me pretty well and I'm enjoying my time out here. And just about everything I planned for is happening in the timeframe that I wanted, though definitely not completely! There have been some surprises, for sure!

The most important thing that is happening for me is that I'm getting married! Yes, Kathi and I are getting married May 20th, and I couldn't be happier about it. Kathi is perfect for me... when they say your wife is supposed to be your better half, they must have known that I was going to marry Kathi ;-) because she is definitely the best part of me! I don't know how I got along before without her. I'm flighty, but she's grounded. I'm intelligent, but she's smart and intelligent! And she gives me a reason to try and be a better person... so that I can be a better man for her. She deserves it! Kathi is an amazing person... sweet, kind, smart, gorgeous, and honest. She deserves a great man in her life, and I aim to prove that I'm that man... until the day I'm gone from this world!!!

I've finally got a job here in Germany too. While I had lofty dreams of it happening in 3 months or less, I've finally gotten a full time job at a good company. I start June 1st... though that means I probably won't see a paycheck until July! But regardless, it'll be great to finally be back in the workforce and be able to give back to my girl, who's given me so much in these past few months. She has been the backbone since I got here and I'd really like to be able to take some of the pressure off of her. Not to mention, and I can't believe I can actually say this, but I was starting to go a bit stir crazy not having a job for these few months. Since I think about 2002 or so, I haven't had more than a single weekend off between jobs, and it was definitely a challenge to keep my self busy and occupied while I was unemployed. But, it's all coming to plan, just as I wanted it to, so I'm happy.

Yes, things are going as I planned, though not always as smoothly as I would have liked, but that's life for you. I had a 6 month plan for when I moved to Germany, and so far, it's working out. I wanted to take my language classes and get certified... and I did it. I wanted to find work... and I did it. There were some snags here and there, but with 2 incomes coming into the house, things will be going pretty smoothly for me and Kathi.

I think I'll try to write more again later, but I'm already in a rush today... have another opportunity I need to see someone about this afternoon, and then it's shopping for a suit with my friend Gemma! Need to look good for my wedding, after all!

Tschuss!